New Year, New Me

Happy New Year all! Hope you had a great one. Mine was very quiet, curled up on the sofa with my gorgeous boyfriend, a glass of bubbly, some home-made Szechuan cuisine and Jools Holland on the telly.

So here we are three weeks on from my procedure and I’m now starting my new healthy eating plan that Katie the dietician has created for me. She recommends that I eat 1500 Kcals a day which is perfect for weight loss. The plan looks incredibly easy to follow and more importantly, very nutritious, balanced and healthy. There are no crazy fad foods or any recommendations to take any wild supplements, just a good quality multi-vitamin. Katie is lovely and very supportive so I’m looking forward to working with her over the next few months as I will doing a weekly food diary for her to assess.

A few things to note since Christmas: 1) I really can’t drink alcohol anymore. My glass of bubbly at New Years and red wine over Christmas gave me horrible stomach cramps. 2) It never ceases to amaze me that the tiny portions of food I’m eating now are enough to satisfy me. My brain just doesn’t get it yet and wills me to eat more but my stomach says no. So far, stomach is winning. 3) I’m starting to feel a bit better about myself as I see the weight come off, although I’m not getting too over-excited about it as I have a long way to go yet.

My weight loss so far is around the 12lb mark but I’ve stopped weighing myself for the moment because I was getting a little obsessed – I was weighing myself up to three times a day at one point, which is ridiculous. Naturally, weight loss has slowed right down since going back on solid food but I’m confident it will continue at a steady and sensible rate over the next few months. You just need to look at my portion sizes to know that. They are honestly a quarter of the size that I used to eat. Dinner generally gets eaten off a kid’s size plate or side plate.

I had my first gym session yesterday since my procedure. I was a little worried beforehand because I hadn’t trained for three weeks. I was pretty fit for a fat chick. I started my warm up with a five minute run to kind of test the waters and amazingly it was great. I felt lighter on my feet and less puffed out. Amazing. I then had a personal training session with the legend that is Anita Albrecht. She has been a constant, reliable and supportive presence in my life over the last two years and I’m happy to say she is now a friend and confidante. Anita went a bit easy on me but I still managed to do an hour’s worth of weighted resistance exercises on her new piece of equipment called ‘the Wave’, which provides an unstable surface a bit like a Bosu ball. She also wants me to fit in two jogs and two half hour power walks before next Tuesday’s session in order to get my fitness back up.

I'm really excited about what the year ahead will bring. Not just in terms of weight loss but in my personal life and career. Things are just wonderful living in my gorgeous little country cottage with the love of life. I've figured out that life is just too short to be miserable and sad when you have so many positive things that I once took for granted. We're also off to a wedding on 29th April (not the Royal one) which is exciting because it'll be my first proper social event of the year and I can't wait to shop for a new outfit for it. We're also going on holiday to Spain in May with out best friends which again is exciting because there will be a beach and I'm determined that I'm going lie on that beach in my bikini, feeling great. I'm also planning to have lots of dinner parties with all my friends and family with lots of laughter and joy. Career-wise, I've always wanted to go into TV but I always thought it would never happen because of my weight but now I know I want to make this happen.

I think I should also note to any readers out there that I appreciate that I am really privileged and lucky to be able to have had a private procedure like the balloon, have access to a dietician and a personal trainer. I know that this isn’t possible for many people out there. I think people who able to turn their lives around with just their own sheer grit and determination should be very proud of themselves and I honestly admire people who can do that.

Christmas aftermath

So the Christmas holiday was horrific. I'm so glad it's all over now.

From what was supposed to be a quiet one with my brother and parents, turned into a big one with my family from Singapore who don't know about the balloon.

There was so much food, just thinking about it makes me feel ill.

I felt like I had to save face and eat normally when I really wasn't ready. I ended up puking several times because I ate relatively normal sized Xmas dinner plus a little piece of cheesecake plus cheese and crackers later on. I've found out I can't drink alcohol. I drank half a glass of champagne Xmas morning and then I got the worst stomach cramps ever and then red wine gave me terrible acid reflux.

I can't tell you how happy I am to go back to soup, water and juice today.

I don't dare weigh myself; I have it in my head that I've piled on my 11lbs that I lost. I know that's not true really but my stomach is so swollen from Xmas that I can't help think it.

Christmas Eve

I think the hardest thing about the experience so far is my addiction. I am a food addict and I'm going cold-turkey (excuse the pun).

I think about food, what it tastes like, what it feels , how it makes me feel but the infuriating thing for my cravings is that I just can't stuff myself silly because it is impossible.

I get a horrible pangs of need for food. Not in a hungry way I might add but as a hit.

I'm slowly coming to terms this week that it's just not possible. I'm hoping this is going to cure my addiction.

All I'm able to eat really is juice, tea, Berocca and lots and lots of soup. I have tried eating proper solids but I when I've finished eating it just feels too uncomfortable and I end up doing a Roman. Soup is nourishing and it satisfies me without that horrible uncomfortable feeling which I hate more than anything.

On the plus side, from eating lots of vegetable soup and fruit juice, my skin looks lovely and clear annnnd I'm down 11 lbs in total.

FYI, I went back to 8lbs loss on Monday after my initial recorded weight loss of 10lbs on Sunday but that's because I stopped vomiting and replenished some much needed fluids.

Sunday

Today has been much better day. I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself.

I've kept down a cuppa soup (bits removed), Berroca, water and iced tea.

I feel by perhaps Tuesday I'll be able to move onto something a little more substantial like sloppy porridge or yoghurt.

Pain is a lot more bearable and joy of joys I've slept uninterrupted!! Feel like I should be able to tackle work tomorrow.

Weighed myself again (probably need to stop doing it so regularly) but now the scales say I'm down 10lbs. Although I should probably stress that probably about half of that is lost water weight.

Three days later

Three days after the balloon insertion and I'm starting to feel a bit better. The nausea and vomiting have stopped and I've managed to get out of bed and have a little wander around the garden without passing out out from the pain.

I'm still a little uncomfortable - definitely very tight in the stomach, regardless of whether I've drunk anything or not. And I'm hugely swollen still. Not nice.

Pear juice, water and Berocca are the only things I've kept down successfully.

Today, I'm going to try and follow the structured liquid diet that Katie did for me. It looks like a lot of liquid to have keep down during the day. Let's see how we go...

I've got today and tomorrow before I go back to work so I'm praying I'm better because I've got a tonne of work that's built up since my absence :(

On the plus side, in three days, I've lost 7lbs.

The day after

So I'm pretty much thinking 'why the hell did I do this??'.

I keep throwing up and retching when there's nothing left to throw up. I have teriible acid, the balloon really hurts and I feel permently sick. No energy at all. I can't sleep because the balloon is too uncomfortable. All the drugs they gave me don't seem to be working.

The only thing that has passed my lips is tiny amounts of water. I tried apple juice but I vommed that back up.

So basically I feel like death. Struggling to find anything positive about the whole experience.

Three days to go

So here we are just three days before my procedure and nearly all my feelings of excitement have been replaced with apprehension.

I’ve never had any kind of operation or procedure at hospital before so I really don’t know what to expect. Although everyone has been reassuring me that everything will be fine. Rationally, I’m sure it will be.

For last two weeks I’ve been eating like a total pig. We’re talking Belgian waffles, cookies, crumpets, loads of bread and butter, chocolate, booze, pudding, cake, Chinese take away… I’ve got to the point now where I’ve totally got it out of my system. So much so, that I’m actually craving leafy greens. Weird.

Anyways, I’m keeping the procedure a total secret from everyone apart from my mum and dad and my boyfriend. Luckily I had a week’s worth of holiday left from work so I’m just saying that I’m spending a few days away.

I’m not really sure what I’m going to say when my work colleagues and friends start noticing that I’m dropping some serious poundage. Maybe just ‘oh I’m eating less’. It’s not a lie is it?

Which also brings me onto this – what if it doesn’t work? I’ve read a few instances on some forums where it hasn’t worked for some people. But then it makes you wonder whether they are sticking to a dietician’s food plan or not? Luckily my dietican Katie has sent over a plan for the next three weeks. So we'll see.

I’ll keep you all posted, hopefully daily, about my progress when the balloon is in.
Think of me while I’m lying sedated on an operating table on Wednesday at 4pm…