I decide enough is enough

I have decided to have a gastric balloon fitted because I hate my size and weight. I go around wishing I was invisible, constantly critising myself in every reflective surface. I've even got so self conscious about it that I've started to decline social invites becuase I know I won't find anything to wear that fits or looks vaguely good.

I've always struggled with my weight. From the age of about 13, I've done diets and exercise, and while I succeed in the short term, it all goes back on soon after. And then some. I eat because I'm bored, sad, depressed, anxious, happy. Basically for any reason.

Anyway, I decided enough was enough. I can't carry on like this being depressed and anti-social all the time. It's pathetic.

I'm 24 yrs old, a size UK 16/US 12 and at 5'10" and 97kg/ 15 stone and 7 lbs/ 217lbs I'm far too heavy. My BMI comes out at 31. In the obese category. Which frankly, is just shocking. I assumed I would be in the overweight category, maybe about 28.

So I made my first enquiries into the gastric ballon on 2nd November with the Court House Clinic.

They arranged for me to see a dietician called Katie Peck on Harley Street, London on 9th November. We had to discuss my eating habits and whether the balloon would be suitable for me. It was quite an emotional session as I had to explain how crap I felt about myself and what makes me overeat. But we got through it and it was really good to get it off my chest as I hadn't told anyone how I felt before.

She agreed it would be good for me as it teaches you how to eat smaller portions, retrains your brain into knowing when you're hungry and over the course of the balloon, allows your stomach to shrink.

The biggest shocker was that she says I need to get down to 75kg/11stone 7lbs/ 160lbs. That's a lot of weight to shift!!

Then on 13th November I saw Professor Hakim who performs the proceedure. He has performed more gastric balloon proceedures in the UK than any other doctor, plus he is transplant surgeon for the NHS when he isn't doing private practice. I definately feel like I'm in safe hands!

He explained how the proceedure would work. Just 20 mins in the operating room while I'm under light sedation (not anaesthetic). Then after 2 hours, they'll discharge me. He said I would feel like hell for the week after and would have to be on a liquid and puree diet but it will be worth it in the end. He also said that we could cheat and I could have the balloon in up to 8 months rather than the usual 6 if I want.

Professor Hakim agreed with the dietician that 75kg would be a good weight for my height. I'm expected to lose between 15 - 20kgs (33 - 44lbs) with the balloon and then the rest on my own with a diet and exercise plan devised by the dietician.

I then got a call today, that we're good to go and I'm booked in for my proccedure on Wednesday 15th December. I've booked three days off work, plus the weekend to recover.

I can't wait!