Christmas aftermath

So the Christmas holiday was horrific. I'm so glad it's all over now.

From what was supposed to be a quiet one with my brother and parents, turned into a big one with my family from Singapore who don't know about the balloon.

There was so much food, just thinking about it makes me feel ill.

I felt like I had to save face and eat normally when I really wasn't ready. I ended up puking several times because I ate relatively normal sized Xmas dinner plus a little piece of cheesecake plus cheese and crackers later on. I've found out I can't drink alcohol. I drank half a glass of champagne Xmas morning and then I got the worst stomach cramps ever and then red wine gave me terrible acid reflux.

I can't tell you how happy I am to go back to soup, water and juice today.

I don't dare weigh myself; I have it in my head that I've piled on my 11lbs that I lost. I know that's not true really but my stomach is so swollen from Xmas that I can't help think it.

Christmas Eve

I think the hardest thing about the experience so far is my addiction. I am a food addict and I'm going cold-turkey (excuse the pun).

I think about food, what it tastes like, what it feels , how it makes me feel but the infuriating thing for my cravings is that I just can't stuff myself silly because it is impossible.

I get a horrible pangs of need for food. Not in a hungry way I might add but as a hit.

I'm slowly coming to terms this week that it's just not possible. I'm hoping this is going to cure my addiction.

All I'm able to eat really is juice, tea, Berocca and lots and lots of soup. I have tried eating proper solids but I when I've finished eating it just feels too uncomfortable and I end up doing a Roman. Soup is nourishing and it satisfies me without that horrible uncomfortable feeling which I hate more than anything.

On the plus side, from eating lots of vegetable soup and fruit juice, my skin looks lovely and clear annnnd I'm down 11 lbs in total.

FYI, I went back to 8lbs loss on Monday after my initial recorded weight loss of 10lbs on Sunday but that's because I stopped vomiting and replenished some much needed fluids.

Sunday

Today has been much better day. I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself.

I've kept down a cuppa soup (bits removed), Berroca, water and iced tea.

I feel by perhaps Tuesday I'll be able to move onto something a little more substantial like sloppy porridge or yoghurt.

Pain is a lot more bearable and joy of joys I've slept uninterrupted!! Feel like I should be able to tackle work tomorrow.

Weighed myself again (probably need to stop doing it so regularly) but now the scales say I'm down 10lbs. Although I should probably stress that probably about half of that is lost water weight.

Three days later

Three days after the balloon insertion and I'm starting to feel a bit better. The nausea and vomiting have stopped and I've managed to get out of bed and have a little wander around the garden without passing out out from the pain.

I'm still a little uncomfortable - definitely very tight in the stomach, regardless of whether I've drunk anything or not. And I'm hugely swollen still. Not nice.

Pear juice, water and Berocca are the only things I've kept down successfully.

Today, I'm going to try and follow the structured liquid diet that Katie did for me. It looks like a lot of liquid to have keep down during the day. Let's see how we go...

I've got today and tomorrow before I go back to work so I'm praying I'm better because I've got a tonne of work that's built up since my absence :(

On the plus side, in three days, I've lost 7lbs.

The day after

So I'm pretty much thinking 'why the hell did I do this??'.

I keep throwing up and retching when there's nothing left to throw up. I have teriible acid, the balloon really hurts and I feel permently sick. No energy at all. I can't sleep because the balloon is too uncomfortable. All the drugs they gave me don't seem to be working.

The only thing that has passed my lips is tiny amounts of water. I tried apple juice but I vommed that back up.

So basically I feel like death. Struggling to find anything positive about the whole experience.

Three days to go

So here we are just three days before my procedure and nearly all my feelings of excitement have been replaced with apprehension.

I’ve never had any kind of operation or procedure at hospital before so I really don’t know what to expect. Although everyone has been reassuring me that everything will be fine. Rationally, I’m sure it will be.

For last two weeks I’ve been eating like a total pig. We’re talking Belgian waffles, cookies, crumpets, loads of bread and butter, chocolate, booze, pudding, cake, Chinese take away… I’ve got to the point now where I’ve totally got it out of my system. So much so, that I’m actually craving leafy greens. Weird.

Anyways, I’m keeping the procedure a total secret from everyone apart from my mum and dad and my boyfriend. Luckily I had a week’s worth of holiday left from work so I’m just saying that I’m spending a few days away.

I’m not really sure what I’m going to say when my work colleagues and friends start noticing that I’m dropping some serious poundage. Maybe just ‘oh I’m eating less’. It’s not a lie is it?

Which also brings me onto this – what if it doesn’t work? I’ve read a few instances on some forums where it hasn’t worked for some people. But then it makes you wonder whether they are sticking to a dietician’s food plan or not? Luckily my dietican Katie has sent over a plan for the next three weeks. So we'll see.

I’ll keep you all posted, hopefully daily, about my progress when the balloon is in.
Think of me while I’m lying sedated on an operating table on Wednesday at 4pm…